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Dan Coulter,
Coulter Video, August 29, 2008
My wife, Julie, and I lost a close friend recently. Bella died
quickly and unexpectedly of a heart attack. It was a real shock.
The kind that makes you look at your life and how you're living
it.
Bella and her husband, Mike, were very close. So much so that
it's hard to imagine one without the other. Mike told us that he
only regretted not being able to say goodbye.
He didn't say he regretted spending too little time together.
They shared interests and spent a lot of time with each other.
He didn't say he wished he'd treated her differently. Whenever
we saw them, they showed their appreciation for each other in
all sorts of ways. Being with them was comfortable and fun. They
were constantly building each other up. They were happy together
and expressed it.
As much as Mike misses Bella, he can celebrate her memory
without getting caught up in what he might have done
differently.
Which brings me to the "looking at your life" part, particularly
for those us with children on the autism spectrum who have
behaviors that can be trying.
What if we closed our eyes and thought about learning that we
might lose the people closest to us? Imagine the things we'd
want to tell them. About how much we appreciate them. About the
strengths they have. About what they mean to us.
Now what if we stopped imagining, and opened our eyes, and told
them?
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Dan Coulter is the producer of the videos,
"Understanding Brothers and Sisters with Asperger Syndrome" and
"Understanding Brothers and Sisters on the Autism Spectrum." You
can read more articles on his website:
www.coultervideo.com.
Copyright 2008 Dan Coulter Used By Permission All Rights
Reserved
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