Dad the Incomparable (A Father's Day Refection)
by Dan Coulter, Coulter Video, June 2004
For more articles like this
I was awake most
of the night last night - lying in bed thinking about being a
dad. And thinking about two truths: It's tough being a dad. It's
great being a dad.
It's easy to get caught up in the first truth, especially if you
have a child with problems or special needs. But the second
truth is where all the fun is - and where you find the power to
be the father your kids want and need.
The first truth is never going to go away. But when you focus on
it, spending time with your kids is an obligation. The second
truth is more powerful. It's what you feel after the birth of
your child. It's what you know when you look at that tiny face
and see all the positive possibilities. It's what you understand
when you first make your baby laugh.
We all have ups and downs as dads. But if you could, wouldn't
you lock yourself in the great moments? The times when your kids
think you're the best dad in the world? Dad the Incomparable,
Lord High Protector and Benevolent Fun Machine! The guy who gets
mobbed by a blur of childish joy when he hits the door and
I found a way. Look at a picture.
Yes. It's that simple.
Go around the house and search through the pictures you have of
your child. Check the photo box in the closet. Find one that
freezes time and brings back everything you felt and promised
him when he was a baby; when she was a toddler. If there's more
than one of your kids in the picture, or you have a picture of
each, that's great.
Put the picture you choose in your wallet or a plastic
protector. Take out the picture and look at it once an hour.
It puts things in perspective. It can help you hold your
daughter's face in your mind to ease tense times at work. It can
make you eager to get home to spend time with your son. It can
make you more patient when you're dealing with your kids and
help you really listen when they talk.
It can help you stop and think before you criticize your son,
"Is this the way I want him to remember me the rest of his
life?" The small picture in your wallet can help you see the big
picture. If you treat every contact with your child as one that
might stand out in his mind as he grows up, will you treat him
differently? The picture can help you do things the way you
really want to do them anyway -- and make your kids want to
always try their hardest to make their dad proud.
It usually takes something big to change our lives. But
sometimes, we can change our own lives with little things, like
looking at a picture.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Dan Coulter is the writer/producer of the
soon-to-be-released video: "ASPERGER SYNDROME DAD: Becoming An
Even Better Father To Your Child With AS." You can find
additional articles on his website at: www.coultervideo.com.
Copyright 2004 Dan Coulter; Used By Permission; All Rights
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