|
 Liberate
the Neurotypicals!
by Dan Coulter, Coulter Video, April 1, 2005
For more articles like this
visit
https://www.bridges4kids.org.
Poor neurotypicals. Sometimes they just don't have a clue.
What's a neurotypical? It's a label for someone who doesn't have
Asperger Syndrome or "AS." (I don't know who coined the term,
but I first heard it used by Dr. Peter Gerhardt.) We can call
neurotypicals "NT's" for short.
When an NT first encounters someone with Asperger Syndrome, he
or she often sees quirky AS behaviors as a warning. "Oops,
something wrong with this one. Better stay clear."
Many NT's routinely erect mental barriers between themselves and
people with AS, without realizing they're walling themselves off
from some really bright, interesting people. "Barrier behavior"
can range - especially in kids -- from avoiding or ignoring
people with AS to taunting, harassing or taking advantage of
them.
Let's call this Barrier Behavior Disorder (BBD). Unfortunately,
BBD doesn't tend to fix itself. So who's going to break down
these barriers and free the neurotypicals?
Um, that would be you and me. If you're reading this, you've
probably either got AS, have someone in your family with AS
and/or know a lot about AS. There's nobody more qualified to
enlist in the NT-BBD liberation movement.
While I'm sympathetic to anyone with AS who doesn't want to
widely disclose the fact, I also know of plenty of instances
where neurotypical behavior changed for the better after someone
took the trouble to help an NT understand Asperger Syndrome and
what it does and doesn't mean.
It's natural to feel awkward when you're confronted with
something new and don't know how to react. So let's tell
neurotypicals a bit about Asperger Syndrome and explain how to
react when a person talks obsessively about one subject -- or
makes blunt observations -- or can't seem to ever find quite the
right words to say. They'll be much more likely to interact long
enough to see some of the strengths a person with AS has.
What I'm talking about goes beyond disclosure. I'm talking about
an education campaign that can make life a lot better for all
concerned.
You can start on a small scale. Are you concerned about what
would happen if the police stopped your daughter who gets very
upset with authority figures? My wife got a very positive
reception when she held a seminar on Asperger Syndrome for local
police.
Does your son shop at a local store? Maybe you could offer to do
a quick talk on AS to a gathering of the store's cashiers just
before or after store hours.
It helps if you keep your presentation short (you can do a lot
in 5 or 10 minutes if you prepare properly) and if you describe
specific behaviors and make suggestions about dealing with them.
For example:
* If a customer is nervous and has a hard time finding the right
words, it helps to be patient and friendly and don't rush the
customer.
* If a customer doesn't seem to understand a part of the
checkout procedure (for example, gives a checkout clerk his
money before the item he is buying) just explain in a friendly
way that you need to see the item he's buying so you'll know how
much to charge him.
* Be careful not to talk to an adult or teenager having
difficulties like you would talk to a small child, just explain
things clearly in the same friendly tone of voice you'd use to
give directions to an adult who didn't know where in the store
to find the hardware department.
Of course, the idea for this education initiative didn't start
with me. There are plenty of folks already out there helping
neurotypicals learn about AS. But if you're new to the campaign,
here's a tip: it helps to stress the benefits for both people
with AS and for your intended audience when you're proposing
presentations.
Most store managers, for example, should see the benefits of
having their employees know how to deal with a situation calmly
and avoid possible incidents where shopping is disrupted. Most
police want to have good relations with the community and
appreciate having accurate information when they deal with a
person who has special needs. You're not telling people how to
do their jobs; you're giving them information that will help
them make good decisions in situations they're likely to
encounter.
A father recently told me that his teenage son with Asperger
Syndrome got upset anytime they were driving together and saw a
police car. The father said he planned not only to talk with the
local police about AS, but that he'd ask if an officer would be
willing to do a practice traffic stop. After some preparation
and discussion, the son could drive across a parking lot and an
officer could "pull him over" and help him practice the right
way to respond to a police officer in that situation.
What a good idea!
Which brings up another point. Asperger Syndrome support groups
are great places to go for resources and ideas. (The ASPEN
organization in New Jersey is an excellent example of an AS
support and education organization. You can find out more
information about ASPEN at
www.aspennj.org.) If you're not the best public speaker in
the world, maybe you can enlist another parent to help you make
presentations. And maybe you can help the other parent in some
other way.
There are also times when it helps to turn to a professional.
A mother recently wrote me about dramatic changes in classmate
attitudes after a psychologist gave a presentation about
Asperger Syndrome to a school assembly. The presentation helped
the students understand what having AS was like and how kids
with AS just wanted to be treated like everyone else. The
mother said that kids who had routinely shunned and teased her
son came up to him after the assembly to apologize. In the days
the followed, classmates began including him in activities and
sitting with him at lunch.
My wife and I have spent a lot of time with our son who has AS,
helping him with his social skills and preparing him to interact
with people in a variety of real-world situations. There are
plenty of times where he's going to be out there and just have
to cope. But anything he, and we, can do to help people
understand what AS means and meet him halfway tends to level the
playing field -- so he's not fighting barriers that shouldn't be
there in the first place.
It's sometimes amazing how great people can be if you just let
them know what's going on and give them a chance.
So let's all work to eradicate NT-BBD.
Our neurotypical friends deserve nothing less.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Dan Coulter is the writer/producer of the
video, "INTRICATE MINDS: Understanding Classmates with Asperger
Syndrome." You can find more articles on his website at:
www.coultervideo.com.
Copyright 2005 Dan Coulter Used by permission. All rights
reserved.
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